Crabbe and Goyle walk into a bar...
Ouchhh!!! - it was an iron bar.

What do you call a coughing Quidditch commentator?
Weasley (Wheeze-Lee!)

What do you call a teacher with a bad attitude?
Moody

Who would you call if you wanted to protect your Valentines?
Lockhart (Lock-heart!)

What do you call jewellery that many people and I share?
Rubeus (Ruby-us!)

What do you call a wizard in a microwave?
Harry Hotter

What do you call a headmaster of Hogwarts who's always tripping on his robes?
Stumbledore

Who is the nastiest student at Hogwarts?
Harry Rotter

Which Harry Potter character likes to get it on?
Moaning Myrtle

What do you call a stupid cow that you "walk through" (don't ask)?
Dumbledore (Dumb-bull-door!)

- Thanks (i think) to Freddie for sending these in